“And there lie the problem “

October 3, 2016

     I writhed between sheets, caught unaware in a spacious metal duct shrunken with cold moisture, stalled. My eyes poked out, at the walls that had seemed so pristine and idyllic the night before. […]

“Surviving a Phobia: Sex”

October 3, 2016

Fifth chair viola in the Canton Symphony pays the rent. An eclectic income, one weekend devoted to Elgar’s Enigma Variations, Michael Jackson’s Orchestration Sensations the next. No Eddie Van Halen, I, after 30 measures of […]

“Augury”

October 3, 2016

Say I’m a fluidphobe in the middle of a salon appointment with Claudette for vulnerability chic. Claudette who was married to a poet during the Indiana of her thirties, a fact even the towels know. […]

“Make me not exist”

October 3, 2016

was a daily thought at the height of my agoraphobia. Three months into another round of unemployment – an eliminated fundraising job – month one filled with pro bono consulting (a PowerPoint presentation at Ronald […]

“The Giants”

October 3, 2016

When the giants try to whisper I hear the scratch of old albums. Paul McCartney. Aretha Franklin. Jazz. Now the record player is placed inside the wall, where the ironing board was. It gathers the […]

“Cigarettes”

October 3, 2016

You don’t smoke cigarettes alone or in the car or after coffee anymore. You don’t smoke cigarettes at mother’s or with your sister around. You don’t smoke cigarettes without a mint or their eyes asking […]

“Octopus”

October 3, 2016

My father is an octopus each tentacle teeming to grab you with its grip. His days as daddy lasted only in the ocean’s blue. Once his lies distilled the water, that’s when he became just […]

“Fabric”

October 3, 2016

Don’t you feel best when it’s hot and humid and the sweat pours down where your sideburns were?   Before you shaved,   you were a man of great confidence—someone who could shake off the […]

“Baptized”

August 10, 2016

I lost my religion between a woman’s thighs and learned to speak in tongues to convulse until cured I discovered God in vocal purgatory suspended between satin lips and sweaty ears Heaven is just beyond […]

“S.O.S.”

August 10, 2016

I cannot compete with the image of me you paint in your brain throw away your rose-colored glasses and use binoculars instead you’ll see a woman coming apart unraveling like a thread an addict struggling […]

“I Have A Friend”

August 10, 2016

I have a friend– who trips into puddles of cough syrup in the midst of any slight or massive storm she never quite dries off I have a friend– who drinks herself under the table […]